Amelie

Chapter 1 Amelie’s Childhood

On September 3, 1973 at 6.28pm and 32 sec a blue fly of the Calliphorides species, capable of flapping 14.670 beats a minute landed on St.Vincent Street Montmartre. At that moment on restaurant terrace in the Place du tetre nearby the wind magically made two glasses dance unseen on a tablecloth. Meanwhile, in a 5th-floor flat on Avenue Trudaine, Paris 9 returning from his best friend's funeral Eugene Colere erased him from his address book. At the same moment, a sperm with one X chromosome belonging to Raphael Poulain made a dash for an egg in his wife Amandine. Nine months later Amelie Poulain was born.

Her father, an ex-Army doctor works at a spa at Enghien les Bains. Raphael Poulain dislikes peeing next to someone else. He also dislikes; catching scornful glances at his sandals, clingy wet swimming trunks. Raphael Poulain likes; peeling large strips of wallpaper, lining up and shining his shoes, emptying his toolbox cleaning it out and putting everything back.

Amelie's mother a schoolmistress from Gueugnon has always had shaky nerves. She dislikes; puckered fingers in the bath, having her hands touched by strangers, pillow marks on her cheek in the morning. Amandine Poulain likes; figure skaters' costumes on TV, polishing the parquet with her slippers, emptying her handbag cleaning it out and putting everything back.

Amelie is six. Like all little girls, she'd like to be hugged by her Daddy. But he never touches her, except for a monthly check-up. The thrill of this rare contact makes her heart beat like a drum. As a result, he thinks she has a heart defect. Declared unfit for school Amelie is taught by her mother. “Four hens brood here henceforth”, repeat “Four hens brood here”, Very good, “hens fourth”. “No!”

Deprived of playmates slung between a neurotic and an iceberg Amelie retreats into her imagination. In this world, LPs are made like pancakes. The neighbour’s comatose wife has chosen to get all her life's sleep in one go.

Amelie has one friend, Blubber. Alas, the home environment has made Blubber suicidal. Blubber's suicide attempts destroy Mother's nerves. A decision is made and blubber is released into the Canal St.Martin.

To comfort Amelie, her mother gives her a used Instamatic. A neighbour fools her into thinking her camera causes accidents. Having taken pictures all afternoon Amelie is petrified. She stares at the TV, racked by the guilt of causing a huge fire, two derailments and a jumbo jet crash.

A few days later realizing she'd been had Amelie gets her revenge by repeatedly connecting then disconnecting her neighbours TV aerial has he tries to watch the football.

One day, tragedy strikes. Amandine takes Amelie to Notre Dame to pray for a baby brother. Minutes later, heaven sends alas, not a baby boy but Marguerite, a tourist from Quebec bent on ending her life. The Tourist falls on Amelie’s mother, Amandine dies instantly.

Chapter 2 – Montmartre

After her mother's death Amelie lives alone with her father. His unsociable tendencies increase. He's obsessed with building a miniature shrine to house his wife's ashes. Days, months, and years go by. In such a dead world, Amelie prefers to dream she'll earn enough to leave home. Five years later, she's a waitress in Montmartre at the Two Windmills.

It's August 29th. In 48 hours, her life will change forever but she doesn't know it yet. She lives quietly among her co-workers and regulars:

Suzanne, the owner limps a little but never spills a drink. A former bareback artiste, she likes; athletes who cry with disappointment. She dislikes; seeing men humiliated in front of their kids.

Georgette, the tobacconist, is a hypochondriac; migraines one day, sciatica the next. She hates the words, fruit of thy womb.

Gina works with Amelie. Her grandma was a healer. She likes cracking bones.

Hipolito, a failed writer. He likes seeing bullfighters gored on TV.

Joseph is Gina's rejected lover. He's always jealously spying on her. All he likes is popping bubble wrap.

Philomene is an air hostess. Amelie keeps her cat when she's away. Philomene likes the sound of the cat's bowl on the tiles. The cat Rodorique likes overhearing children's stories.

On weekends, Amelie often takes a train to see her father. “Why not use your retirement?” she asks, he responds “To do what?”, “Travel, You've never been away”, When we were young, your mother and I longed to travel. We couldn't, because of your heart.

Some Fridays, Amelie sees a movie. Shes likes looking back at people's faces in the dark, she likes noticing details that no one else sees. But she hates it in old American movies when drivers don't watch the road.

Amelie has no boyfriend. She tried once or twice, but the results were a letdown. Instead, she cultivates a taste for small pleasures: dipping her hand into sacks of grain, cracking crème brulee with a teaspoon and skipping stones at St. Martin's Canal.

In the apartment downstairs from Amelie lives Raphael Defyal, they call him "The Glass Man" he was born with bones as brittle as crystal. All his furniture is padded. A handshake could crush his fingers. He's stayed inside for twenty years. Time has changed nothing.

Amelie still seeks solitude. She amuses herself with silly questions about the world below such as, "how many couples are having an orgasm right now?"

Chapter 3 – The Treasure Box

Finally, on August 30, 1997 comes the event that changes her life forever. As Amelie is watching, the news presenter announces that Lady Di, Princess of Wales has died in a car crash the previous night with her companion Dodi Al-Fayed. In shock Amelie drops the top of a perfume bottle, it rolls across the bathroom floor hitting and loosening a wall tile. In a small cavity she discovers a small tin box. Only the discoverer of Tutankhamen's tomb would know how she felt upon finding this treasure hidden by a little boy 40 years ago.

On August 31st at 4:00am Amelie had a dazzling idea. Wherever he was, she would find the box's owner and give him back his treasure. If he was touched, she'd become a regular do-gooder. If not, too bad.

Amelie visits Madeleine who lives in one of the apartments below, she is greeted by her at the door. The girl from the fifth floor, we don't see much of you. Would you know of a boy who lived in my apartment in the Fifties? A boy? Have a glass of port, No, thanks, Come in! Close the door. Boys? I've known so many. They're cute until they discover snowballs and chestnuts. I've known so many boys. When did you come here? Amelie asks, In 1964, You’ll have heard the story? Amelie shakes her head, I'm amazed, Sit down. My husband worked for Ladybird Insurance. It's no secret he slept with his secretary. They used every hotel around. Not cheap ones, either. The bimbo liked spreading her legs, but only on satin so he swiped from the till a little at first, then 50 million. Off they flew to Panama. Drink up. On January 20, 1970 my doorbell rang. Your husband's been killed in a car crash in South America. My life stopped there. Madeline points to the stuffed dog who looks up at a photo of her husband on the wall. Black Lion died of heartbreak, poor creature, see how lovingly he stares at his master, I'll read you his letters. Don't go! You can spare 5 minutes. He wrote this from the Army camp.

Darling Mado (That's me Madeleine) I can't sleep, can't eat knowing that my only reason to live is far away in Paris and I won't see her until next Friday when my sweet little weasel appears at the station in her blue dress. In brackets "the one you think is too transparent". Did anyone ever write you like that? I'm nobody's little weasel Amelie responds. My name is Madeleine Wells, Madeleine, like Mary Magdalene. She wept, right? Wells, as in water. Talk about being born to cry! About your question ask Collignon, the grocer. He's lived here all his life.

Amelie visits Mr Collignon at the Grocers Store. Hello, Amelie-mellow! A fig and three nuts, as usual? Who lived in my apartment in the Fifties? Amelie enquires. What was their name? She shakes her head, You've got me there, dear. In 1950, I was two, the mental age of a cretin. Mr Collignon gestures to Lucien who helps him with the store. He's no genius, but Amelie likes him. She likes the way he handles each endive like a precious object to be treated with care. It's his way of showing his love of good work. Look at him! Like he's nursing a baby bird! Don't ask him for currants, you'd be here till Monday! Get moving, spastic! She hasn't got all day! Go see my mother. She has an elephant's memory. Elephant mom! Ha ha.

Amelie visits Mr Collignons parents. “Bredoteau.” declares Mr Collignons father. Pardon? The name you're after. But if I say it, it won't count. I'm senile. Mr Collignons mother returns carrying a pile of papers. Ignore him, he's senile, see what he's done to my laurel? His old job was punching metro tickets, now he gets up every night to punch holes in my laurel! too bad it's not hardy. We all need a way to relax he retorts. I skip stones Amelie enlightens him. I'll find it, don't worry. I'm very organized. I like everything organised. Your son's nearly fifty and I'm still doing his bookkeeping! You were still squeezing his toothpaste at fifteen. It follows. Camus second floor, Broussard was on B block Got it! Bredoteau, fifth floor. They were from Pas de Calais.

Chapter 4 – Looking for Bretodeau

Amelie returns on the Metro Abbesses as she passes a blind tramp on the station, his gramophone sings out an old tune “What more I can say? How could I live Never to know the joy that you give When I'm in your arms I'm under your charms How could I live Without you”. Groping under the photo booth we see Nino Quincampoix. When Amelie lacked playmates, Nino had too many. Need to check the locations on the arial view Five miles apart, they both dreamed of having a brother and sister to be with all the time.

She visits her father. She finds him lovingly painting an old Garden Gnome. Hi Dad, A new friend? I've had him for years, your mother hated him, so he lived in the tool shed. He finishes painting. There, let's reconcile them. How about that? Amelie tries to change the subject, Dad, if you found a precious relic from your childhood how would you feel? Happy? Sad? Nostalgic? This gnome isn't a relic, he was a retirement gift from my old regiment. No, I mean something you hid, like a secret treasure. I should varnish him before the autumn. I'll make some tea. You want some?

Back in the Two Windmills Georgette is having an Asthma attack. Breathe in, Hold still, better now? Shut the door! There’s a howling gale. It's not Siberia, you're not allergic to car fumes! I almost coughed up my pleura last night. Cough up a pleura?

Some regulars enter the café, What's on today, Suzanne? Endives au gratin, They'll have you on your knees. That's good? Depends where you fall. If in front of the toilet, not good. Gina laughs.

Joseph records into his Dictaphone “12:15 laughs orgasmically to attract alpha male” Gina responds, He's gonna drive me berserk. Can't he give up? There are plenty of other bars!

Madame Suzanne? Au gratin means white sauce, right? Yes, why? I can't stomach it, like you and horse meat. It's not my stomach, it's my memory. I'd rather cook human flesh. You're kidding.

Amelie asks Madame Suzanne. Can I leave early today? What's his name? Dominique Bredoteau.

Amelie travels on the metro past Pont de Bir-Hakeim to the other side of town Amelie knocks on the door of the first Bredoteau on her list. He answers the door but is clearly too young to be a small boy in the fifties, so Amelie has to make her excuses. Hello, you're Dominique Bredoteau? That's me, why? It's about the petition. Petition? Yes, the petition to to canonize Lady Di! Oh No, thanks.

At the second address Amelie uses an intercom. Sorry to bother you, Yes? Hello. I'm looking for Dominique Bredoteau, for the European census. Come up, third floor. She meets ‘Dominique’ a manly woman on the landing, she invites her in. Hello, kitten. Earl Grey? Jasmine? What will you have? Amelie makes her excuses and leaves.

At the last address Amelie meets some women in the stairwell. Where can I find Dominique Bredoteau? As she speaks a coffin passes on the stair. Poor dear! You just missed him. Look, there he goes now.

Chapter 5 - Solemates

At around 6:30pm back at the Apartment she meets Mr Dufayel on a stairs. Bre-to-deau. Not Bredot-eau. You need a little mulled wine, come in. I've lived here for five years. I never saw you before. I never go out on the landing. I'm fussy about who I meet. They're all bums. Come in. They call me the Glass Man but my name is Raymond Dufayel. I’m Amelie Poulain. I'm a waitress at… The Two Windmills. I know. And right now, your Bredoteau basket is empty. Because it's not "do." It's "to." Like "Toto."

I love that painting Amelie comments. It's the Luncheon of the Boating Party, by Renoir. I've painted one each year for twenty years. The hardest part is the looks, I sometimes feel like they deliberately change their mood behind my back. They look quite happy. They should be! They're eating hare with morels and waffles with jam for the kids. Now, where's that piece of paper? You've noticed my video camera, a gift from my sister-in-law. I put it by the window focussed on the street clock so I don't need to wind up my clocks. They return to studying the painting. After all these years the only person I still can't capture is the girl with the glass of water. She's in the middle, yet she's outside. Maybe she's just different. In what way? I don't know. When she was little, she rarely played with other kids. Maybe never. Mr Dufayel hands her the paper with the address. Dominique Bretodeau, 27 Rue Mouffetard.

Chapter 6 – Guardian Angel Amelie

Every Tuesday morning Dominique Bretodeau buys a chicken. He roasts it with potatoes, after carving the legs and wings he loves picking the hot carcass with his fingers starting with the oysters. But not today. Bretodeau won't buy a chicken. He'll go no further than the Phonebooth.

Amelie leaves the tinbox in a phone booth and waits for Dominique to pass, she then rings the phone to draw his attention and watches as he finds the box.

In a flash, it all comes back Bahamontes winning the Tour de France. Aunt Josette's slips and most of all, the tragic day, the day he won all the marbles, whist he tries to collect them all the school bell rings, the pockets bulging with marbles burst he looses them all and suffers, “The pinch” from the school master.

Dominique enters a bar and stands next to Amelie and begins to recount his story to the barman. Cognac, please. Amazing, what just happened, it must be my guardian angel. The phone booth was calling me. Same here! The microwave's calling me. I'll have another cognac. Life's funny, to a kid, time always drags, suddenly you're fifty, all that's left of your childhood fits in a rusty little box. You got kids, Miss? (Amelie shakes her head). I have a daughter about your age, we haven't spoken for years, I heard she had a child, a boy, his name is Lucas. It's time I looked them up, before I'm in a box myself, don't you think?

Amelie has a strange feeling of absolute harmony. It's a perfect moment. Soft light a scent in the air, the quiet murmur of the city. She breathes deeply. Life is simple and clear. A surge of love, an urge to help mankind comes over her. On here journey back she passes over the river at Pont Des Arts.

She grabs a blind man by the arm as he is about to cross the road in Rue Lepic. Let me help you. Step down. Here we go! The drum major's widow! She's worn his coat since the day he died. The horse's head has lost an ear! That's the florist laughing. He has crinkly eyes. In the bakery window, lollipops. Smell that! They're giving out melon slices. Sugarplum ice cream! We're passing the park butcher. Ham, 79 francs. Spareribs, 45! Now the cheese shop. Picadors are 12.90. Cabecaus 23.50. A baby's watching a dog that's watching the chickens. Now we're at the kiosk by the Lamarck Caulaincourt. metro. I'll leave you here. Bye!

Back at her apartment Amelie daydreams of what her funeral might be like and how her epitaph might read.

She can't relate to other people. She was always a lonely child. On a sparkling evening in July while on the beaches, holiday hordes relax in the new-found sun and Paris's sweltering denizens gaze at the star bursts of the traditional fireworks Amelie Poulain Godmother of Outcasts, Madonna of the Unloved finally succumbed to exhaustion. In Paris's stricken streets a countless throng of mourners lined her funeral route in silence with the measureless grief of newly orphaned children. What a strange destiny for one who gave her all yet took such joy in life's simple pleasures. Like Don Quixote, she pitted herself against the grinding windmills of all life's miseries. It was a losing battle that claimed her life too soon. At barely 23, Amelie Poulain let her young, tired body merge with the ebb and flow of universal woe. As she went, she felt a stab of regret for letting her father die without trying to give his stifled life the breath of air she had given to so many others.

Chapter 7 - Amelie Strikes again

Amelie travels to her father late at night, the house is locked, instead of waking her father she steals the Garden Gnome and makes back for the Metro, its locked and so she is left to sleep overnight in a photobooth.

The next day she heads back into town. She again sees Nino at the railway station. He is looking for photos under the photobooth. He looks up and sees the mystery man emerging from the booth and he gives chase. Wait! Wait!

As Nino chases the mystery man so Amelie chases Nino. Nino jumps onto the back of his scooter on the road above the ornamental stone steps to the left of Gare De L'est station to follow the car as he does a package falls from the scooter which Amelie picks up, inside is a photo album. Pages full of dual ID photos torn up and discarded by their owners carefully reassembled by some oddball. Some family album!

Chapter 8 – Collignon the Onion

Back at the Two Windmills. A pack of Gaulaises, requests a young woman, Just a second, responds Georgette, It's so smokey in here. Where are they? I can't see a thing. More to the left. More, she hands over the cigarettes, you need change… Forget it! The woman storms out.

A customer places an order. A mauresque for the young man. One kir, one mauresque, and two mint sodas. Joseph asks was that prenuptial or post-smooching? Are you a congenital schmuck? Joseph records into his Dictaphone. Prenuptial.

An old regular talks with Gina. Don't worry, you'll find your Mr. Right one day. All women want to sleep on a man's shoulder. All men snore after a few drinks and I have a musical ear. I had my nasal cavities fixed. I see you're a born romantic. I see you've never known true love. I did. It shortened my leg. I thought you fell off a horse? I did, I was in love with a trapeze artist, stupid me. They always drop you at the last minute, he dropped me just before my act. It floored me, plus the horse with me under it. Gina continues Still, true love does exist. I know. After 30 years behind a bar I'm an expert. I'll even give you the recipe. Take two regulars mix them together and let them stew. It never fails.

Amelie confronts Joseph. Haven't you hurt enough people? Gina can defend herself. I don't mean Gina, I mean Georgette, look! She craves your attention but all you can see is Gina, poor girl! The things she does to catch your eye! You really must be blind.

Gina leaves. I'm off on a date, bye! Georgette comments to Amelie. Whoever her new one is he can't be worse than that nut with his tape recorder. Joseph's not so nutty. He's just in pain. Come on! They split up two months ago, to keep on coming here, he must be a masochist. Don't say you haven't noticed. Noticed what? Well, he always sits here, right, at number 8? Sit down, sit down, Georgette, what can you see? My cigarette counter. Nothing's missing? Well, no. Make an effort. I can't see what! Think about it! Good night.

At the news kiosk in Place D' Abbesses, the next morning Amelie reads a headline. “Letter Arrives 30 Years Late”. A mailbag found by climbers on a glacier on Mont Blanc was part of a cargo lost in a plane crash in the late 1980s.

The stand owner speaks, So sad, a young, pretty princess for once. It's OK if she's old and ugly? Sure! Look at Mother Teresa. Is he still chasing Gina? The owner asks. No, he has somebody else. Anyone I know? Funny about this glacier… Somebody at the Two Windmills? Not you! Amelie shakes her head. Not Suzanne. Amelie nods. No!

At Mr Dufyels they view the photo album. There he is again. How strange and here. "Him again!" Lyon Station. And here. March 5, Austerlitz. Always the same blank face. Always neutral. Twelve times. I counted. It's very odd. Why keep taking your picture all over town and throw them away? Good ones, too. It's like a ritual. He's probably terrified of growing old. It's his only consolation. He's dead! He's scared of being forgotten. He wants to remind people of his face. Like faxing his portrait from the afterlife. A dead man scared of being forgotten.

They re-examine the Renoir painting. These guys here have it made! They're long dead but they'll never be forgotten. The girl with the glass Maybe her thoughts are with somebody else. Somebody in the picture? More likely a boy she saw somewhere and felt an affinity with. You mean she'd rather imagine herself relating to an absent person than build relationships with those around her? Maybe she tries hard to fix other people's messy lives. What about her? Her own messy life? Who'll fix that? It's better to help people than a garden gnome.

Chapter 9 – Amelie is looking for Nino

Ameilie sits in bed and looks through the album, during thr night she tapes the Tour de France, on her way to work she leaves the tape at Mr Dufeyels door.

Outside the grocers Mr Collignon discusses a news story with customers. The trucker had 2.8 grams of alcohol in his blood! Makes me sick, talk about employing irresponsible morons! Amelie tries to hand Mr Collingnon his keys which she has found in his door. Hold on, Mello. Speed kills nowadays. Model yourself on Lucien. No radar will ever catch him while he's working! Shame on you, Mr. Collignon, It's not his fault. True, Mrs. Couchoix, It's not his fault he can't sleep. It's Lady Di's, guess what I found in the truck? A lingerie catalogue, he'd pasted Lady Di's face over the model's! Amelie again tries to gain his attention, What today? Five asparagus or more local history?

Amelie angered makes a copy of Mr Collingnon’s door key made so she can return to his apartment to sabotage it.

Back at the newpaper kiosk in Place D' Abbesses, the owner asks Georgette. The migraine's better? Yes, but my sciatica kept me awake all night. It is ages since I saw you looking so good. Oh, yeah? A woman without love wilts like a flower without sun.

Hipolito makes conversation with Suzanne. Strange weather today! What's so funny? You're only the 100th one to say it. We pass the time of day to forget how time passes. We do it to keep from taking crap. I write crap that nobody publishes. Another rejection? My 30th! Isn't your cousin a book critic? Forget it! Critics are like leeches sucking the blood of writers. Is your book a love story? It's about a guy who keeps a journal. Not about his past but about disasters in his future. So he gets depressed and does nothing. Basically, it's about a loafer. I'll dedicate the manuscript to you. He looks to Gina. So you'll write off his tab. His scribbles for my nibbles. That's sponsorship.

Meanwhile Amelie sabotages Mr Collingnons apartment:

Cuts his shoes laces
Exchanges toothpaste for footcream
Swaps the handles around on the bathroom door
Puts salt in his cognac
Resets his alarm clock from 7am to 4am

As she leaves she imagines she is Zorro and leaves her mark on the door

On her way to her fathers she reads Hipolitos work “Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's”. At her fathers, but conversation is hard. How's work? You asked me already. You OK these days? Pretty much. I feel a change. I had two heart attacks, an abortion, did crack while I was pregnant. Other than that, I'm fine. Good. Something wrong? No, nothing. Your gnome's gone. Is he back in the tool shed? He is in Moscow, her father shows her a postcard There. See? No explanation. He wants to see the world? I can't understand it.

Returning to town Amelie sees posters on the walls of the Metro Stations, “LOST BAG PHOTOS”. Any normal girl would call the number meet him, return the album and see if her dream is viable. It's called a reality check, the last thing Amelie wants.

The pictures discuss her as she sleeps; I say! Could she be falling in love?

Mr Collignon wakes, the handles are odd, then he cleans his teeth! with shoes tied with parcel string he stumbles to the store, it is 4 in the morning!

Later at the Grocers store Lucien is running the store as Mr Collignons early start caused by Amelie changing the alarm clock has forced him to fall asleep during the day. Where's the boss? Sleeping in the cauliflower What? Sleeping in the cauliflower.

At the café Joseph asks Georgette for a scratch card. How does it work? Tell you what, let's both do one together. You scratch it here sideways. Nothing. You? Me, neither. Unlucky at cards… So they say. Well I have to get back.

Amelie calls the number on the Posters, the phone is answered. Porno Video Palace. I'm calling about the ad. You're over 18? Yes. Shaved? Sorry? Are you shaved? Fur pie doesn't sell. Amelie hangs up, looking scared.

Lucien meets Madeline on the stairs. How's life, Mrs. Wallace? When you've nothing to live for. Come on, life's great! Dream on, kid. Lucien brings Mr Dufayel his grocery order. Hello, Mr. Dufayel. Here's your order, Mr. Dufayel. I doubt it, I hate artichokes. You shouldn't. Watch this. Lucien asks Raphel to remove the artichoke as he does it reveals caviar, then a bottle of champagne. Lucien, you're a wizard! Courtesy of Mr. Collignon. Mister Collignon? Sorry, it slipped out. Practice, Lucien! Practice! Repeat after me. Collignon, down the john. Collignon, down the john. Your turn now. Collignon… Collignon, big moron! See? You can do it. Collignon, dead and gone! Very good! Collignon, big moron, down the john! OK! That's enough for today. Lucien, that's enough!

I found this under your mat. Lucien produces a parcel containing a video tape hidden by Amelie. He plays it and sees the Tour de France and life outside his four walls.

Back in the Café Joseph and Georgette try another scratch card. Still no win! Me, neither.

Josephs leans over to brush away something from Georgette's breast May I? There's a little… you're gorgeous when you blush. Like a wild flower. "It's my dyspepsia," she replies awkwardly.

Joseph has to make a trip to the bathroom. Whilst he is there Amelie purposefully bumps into Georgette, spilling hot coffee down her, You scalded me! Ten out of ten! Bull's-eye! Vive le France! Georgette races to the bathroom too. Geogette and Joseph make love as the glasses and optics bounce to the rhythm of the love making. Amelie tries to cover up for their noises.

Amelie visits Mr Dufyel. Raymond offers Mulled wine and spice cookies. "I was too hard on the girl with the glass. Tell me about that boy she saw. Did they meet again?" They're into different things. "Luck is like the Tour de France. You wait, and it flashes past you. You have to catch it while you can."

Amelie visits the Porno Palace directly opposite the Moulin Rouge. Eva the shopkeeper asks, "Can I help you?" Excuse me I found this in the street, she shows her the album. "Nino will be glad! He was so sad the other day. I almost prayed to St. Anthony!" Is Nino here now? "On Wednesdays he works at the funfair." How long has he had this collection? "Since I got him the job here, last year. Before, he collected footprints. He worked nights. In the daytime, he took pictures of footprints in wet cement. He's a funny guy. When we met, he was a Santa Claus. Other things, like whenever he heard a funny laugh, he'd tape it." Gosh! Must be hard for his girlfriend. "He never keeps them long. Times are hard for dreamers." A shout comes from the backroom "Eva! Are those coffees coming?" "Gotta go. Thanks for the album." It's OK, says Amelie. I have time to take it to the funfair. "Suit yourself. He works on the Ghost Train. Ask for Nino Quincompoix."

Amelie visits the Ghost Train. Is Nino here? "He doesn't get out till 7:00." Is there no way to see him before? "Sure, take a ride, 20 francs." She does and meet Nino on the ride but cannot bring herself to talk to him. She leaves a note written on the back of a set of photos for him on his Scooter. “5pm tomorrow, Montmartre carousel. Bring 5 francs.”

That evening as Nino sleeps, the photographs begin to discuss Amelie with him. Want to know about her? You know her? You bet! She put us in her shirt pocket. Next to her breast, the photographs snicker. Is she pretty? Not bad. Beautiful. No. Pretty. Beautiful! Pretty. What does she want from me? She's broke. She wants a reward for the album. Or else she collects photos, too. She wants to trade us for a one-eyed man with glasses! Nino turns away, giving up. No, you dope! She's in love. I don't even know her. You do. Since when? Since always. In your dreams.

Chapter 10 – Follow the Arrows

At the Carousel Nino waits for the Girl to arrive. The phone rings and a woman calls to Nino. You! Man with the plastic bag! It's for you. The voice on the phone instructs Nino to follow the blue arrows, Mr. Quincompoix. As Nino looks at the hand of the status a boy comments. Mister, the fool looks at a finger that points at the sky, he look toward the direction that the statues points, He see’s Amelie and makes chase, he looses her but another phone rings. Hello? I know the stranger in the pictures. He's a ghost. He's invisible! He only appears when the film is developed. When a girl has her photo taken he goes "Wooo!" in her ear while he fondles her neck. That's how he got caught, Mr. Quincompoix! Who are you? Look at Page 51.

In the album a photograph of Amelie in Zorro mask holds a sign “DO YOU WANT TO MEET ME?”

Chapter 11 – New Strategies

Amelie’s father receives yet more photographs of the travelling gnome, this time on a trip to New York; next to the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building.

Amelie sets off for work but as she passes Madeline’s door she notices it is open and so enters the apartment and retrieves the letters from her husband.

Back in the Café Georgette is full of life, Joseph reads a newspaper article. Both are slightly dancing to the music. Listen to this. "Boy of 8, while parents sleep drives off in a pedal car. Found on a highway in Germany he told police he wanted to see the stars." Ain't life beautiful, though? Love. The only bug she hadn't caught. Nobody's immune. It gives me a break. Love's a great beautician.

In the Porno Place Nino tries to get Eva to describe the woman who had found the album. What's she like? Tall, small? Fair, dark? Let's say average height. Not a dwarf or a giraffe. Normal. Pretty, for her type. As for fair or dark, it's hard to say. She wasn't a redhead. Unless… Forget it. I remember she casually asked about your girlfriend. And? I said you weren't interested, right? You didn't! What do you care? You don't even know her. Exactly. It's the mystery. You won't find mystery here.

Outside the Grocer's store. A pound of nectarines. Lucien informs that the ones here are the prettiest. Mr Collignon retorts. Trust him. He's an artist. He goes home with a ton of unsold stock. What for? Is he stewing a pig? No, sir! He's studying art! Sells leeks all day long and paints turnips all night! The boy's a useless vegetable!

With a prompter in each cellar window whispering comebacks shy people would have the last laugh. At least you'll never be a vegetable! Even artichokes have hearts, Amelie retorts. The crowd roard with laughter.

Amelie returns to Mr Colginon's apartment for further sabotage. She re-programmes the phone replacing his mother number with a Psychiatric Helpline. Placing a pin in the light flex, placing lower wattage bulbs in all the lamps, placing his slipper with a pair of a smaller size.

Amelie works through the night cutting and pasting together a letter for Madeline.

Darling Mado, I miss you more and more each day. I'm an exile in a world of dreary khaki. I can't sleep, can't eat. This camp was the mistake of my life depriving me of my beloved for five long weeks. I think of you endlessly. Your Adrien.

Mado I turned down my last month's wages instead of giving notice. I dream of better times ahead. An orange-colored day. Remember, my love? Your everloving Adrien.

Mado Good news, sweetheart. Soon I'll be able to afford a car and drive home every night. Till then, meet me on Friday, and we'll go out. Love Adrien

Mr Collignon retruns from work. He cannot get hos slippers on, the lights are dim, so he tries another and it blows. He feels like his going mad so he tries to phone his mother and get a shrink. Then he grabs a cognac, spitting out the salt-ruined liquor all over.

Chapter 12 – the Mystery Man Unmasked

Amelie is travelling back on the metro at the Barbes-Rochechoart station. Amelie sees more signs this time asking. “WERE & WHEN?”

One hour later, on Boulevard St. Martin Amelie walks into a party goods and costume shop. At the same time, a man leaves his home at 108 Rue Lecourbe. 28 minutes later, Amelie is at East Station. Simultaneously, the man in red shoes parks outside. The time is exactly 11:40. At this precise moment only Amelie has the key to the riddle of the mystery man.

Madeline meets the postman in the hall. How's it going, Mrs. Wells? Not so bad when it's not raining. This Is for you. Me? He hands to two letters.

Dear Mrs. Wells, We recently recovered a mailbag that was lost in a plane crash on October 12th, 1989, on Mont Blanc. We are forwarding the enclosed letter to your address with our apologies for the uncustomary delay. Jacques Grasjeau Customer Services.

Darling Mado, I'm in exile. I can't sleep, can't eat I think of you endlessly. I know I've made the mistake of my life. I turned down that woman's money. If all goes well, I'll soon be able to afford a house. I dream of better times ahead when you'll forgive me and join me here one orange-colored day. Your everloving Adrien.

Madelaine kisses her husband's portrait, then cleans the glass lovingly.

Lucien calls on Mr Dufayel. Another package for you. You heard about the concierge? She got a letter. From her husband, 40 years late. That's a lot, isn't it?

Lucien is learning to paint. I'm not big on still life, Mr. Dufayel. Then work on your lean layer. Fat over lean. Always!

I heard there'll soon be a new star. You're into stars now? I saw it on TV at my ma's, that's why. I dunno if it's true. In America they'll take rich people's ashes put them in a satellite and shoot it into space. It's going to shine forever. And Lady Di, will they do the same for her? Lady Di! Lady Di! Give it a rest! I can't concentrate! Lady Di! Lady Di! Renoir! Lucien runs from the apartment, looking upset.

Dufayel watches the video, babies swimming under water. A cripple who does not let that get him down, who dances.

Chapter 13 – When & When?

Amelie's father receives another postcard. This time the gnome is in Cambodia.

Back in the café Philomene the airhostess returns from her travels with the Gnome. Brilliant! You were perfect. Did it work? It's getting there. Ask me again anytime. The harm's done. Harm? Everybody calls me Snow White!

Nino continues to post his posters and finds another photo of Amelie torn up under a photobooth, asking him to meet him at 4:00pm in the Two Windmills. He is already late and makes his excuses at the Porno place and leaves.

Nino is late and Amelie can only see two explanations:

He didn't get the photo.

2. Before he could assemble it a gang of bank robbers took him hostage. The cops gave chase. They got away but he caused a crash. When he came to, he'd lost his memory. An ex-con picked him up mistook him for a fugitive and shipped him to Istanbul. There he met some Afghan raiders who took him to steal some Russian warheads. But their truck hit a mine in Tajikistan. He survived, took to the hills and became a Mujaheddin. Amelie refuses to get upset for a guy who'll eat borscht all his life in a hat like a tea cozy.

But he arrives and takes a seat. A pretty girl in a tube top appears and Nino looks hopeful, but she takes a seat with her boyfriend. Gina serve him, What can I get you? Coffee, please. Behind him Amelie writes up today's menu on the glass screen. He's understood. He's going to put down his spoon, dip his finger in the sugar, then turn around slowly and speak to me. Is this you? Amelie shakes her head. Yes, it's you.

Amelie gives Gina a note for Nino, she approaches his table. More coffee? No thanks. As she leaves she places the note in Nino pocket. Joseph sees this and gives a sarcastic thumbs up.

Back at Dufayel's apartment the discussion of the painting continues. So it's this man here, with his hand up? Yes. Is she in love with him? Yes. I think it's time she took a real risk. She might. She's devising a stratagem. She's fond of stratagems. In fact, she's cowardly. That's why I can't capture her look.

In her apartment later, Amelie imagines an old war movie on her TV. Dufayel's attempts to meddle are intolerable!

Amelie considers her fate. If Amelie chooses to live in a dream and remain an introverted young woman she has an absolute right to mess up her life!

Lucien visits Mr Dufayel. Tell me, Lucien. For deliveries, do you keep keys to all the apartments? Lucien nods.

Chapter 14 – At the Photobooth

Back on East station Amelie places some paperclips in the coin mechanism of the Photobooth, then rings the company. One of your booths is out of order. It seems to be jammed. In the East Station ticket hall.

Back in the Porno Place Nino asks a stripper for cover. Samantha? Can you stand in for me at… he writes on a piece of paper as he does so he see the note. “Photobooth East Station Tuesday 5pm.” he wastes no time and heads for the station.

As Nino approaches, Amelie watches. The mystery man appears. ‘Almost done’ he says. The mystery man wasn't a ghost or a man scared of aging but simply the repairman a normal technician doing his work. Amelie gathers her courage and heads across the station to meet Nino, but a luggage cart crosses her path and blocks her. After the cart is gone, so is Nino.

Back in the Café Georgette is having a hard time with Joseph. He keeps spying on me. It's making me sick. Joseph records onto his Dictaphone “4:05: Blatant female conspiracy” Gosh, you're tense!” Good luck. You'll need it.

Nino arrives at the Café, Excuse me. Did you put this in my pocket? Gina responds. Yes but it's not from me. I know., where Is she? She's at her father's. It bothers me. Can I talk to you? I get off at 8:00pm can you come back? OK. See you then. Joseph records onto his Dictaphone “4:08: Docking scheduled.

Chapter 15 – The Cake

Joseph confronts Georgette, whom he believes is having a affair with another man. A blond guy in a camel coat. Absent-minded too. How come? He came back three times the same afternoon. He replays his Dictaphone 1:12 Camel coat, 2.50 Camel coat, 4:17 Camel Coat. Stop it! My rash has come back! Look. Suzanne! My rash is back. He's driving me nuts! Lay off! Her conscience is at fault. I've had it! I'm going home. Psychos are the last straw! Stop smothering them. Women need air. You give them air, they blow you off. Fresh air's healthy. Joseph and Hipolito fight. Cram it, failure! Failed writer, failed life. I love the word "fail." Failure is human destiny. It's gasbag time! Failure teaches us that life is but a draft a long rehearsal for a show that will never play. I bet he stole that. I do have some original ideas but people always steal them. Same as your women. Meaning? You'd better get used to it. Speak for yourself, you… they scuffle.

Amelie returns. What's going on? Nothing much. Georgette went out, Joseph got mad. Went out? Like Gina. You know who Gina's with? The guy with the plastic bag! I saw their little game. The note in the coat pocket. Back he comes, and hey presto! Out they go.

Gina walks with Nino. I'm worried for Amelie because I like you. What do you mean? By and large, the men I like are mentally unsound. I'd like to know more about you. Ok what do you want to ask me?

One swallow doesn't make? A swallow? A summer.

Practice makes… Perfect.

Curiosity… Killed the cat.

Haste… Makes waste.

Rolling stone… Gathers No moss.

It's a sin… To steal a pin.

Absence makes… the heart grow fonder.

Not bad. You collect them? At home, we say a man who knows proverbs can't be all bad.

Saddened by the news that Nino has met with Gina Amelie returns to her apartment. Madeleine shout to her on the stair. Pretty girl from the fifth floor, listen to this! You believe in miracles? Amelie responds Not today. You're in for a surprise. What if I told you that a team of climbers on Mont Blanc had found hard proof that my husband loved me? Amelie dejectedly climbs the stairs to her apartment, then tears down the "When&Where?" signs that Nino had left her.

Chapter 16 – Seize the Day

Amelie daydreams that Nino is her lover and he is at the grocers. Lucien, I need some yeast. For Miss Amelie? She's baking her famous plum cake? As she dreams the cat rattle the bead curtain, she feels she has lost the man she loves. Then suddenly...

Nino ring the doorbell. Amelie!, Amelie! however she is so nervous she will not answer the door. Nino writes a note to say he will be back.

Amelie hears the phone it asks her to “Go into the bedroom, Miss Poulain”. She does and in the corner the TV is playing a video message from Raphel. So, little Amelie your bones aren't made of glass. You can take life's knocks. If you let this chance go by… eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton. So go get him, for Pete's sake!

She runs to the door, Nino is there. Amelie pulls him into her apartment, closing the door. She silently kisses his cheek, neck and upper eyelid. She motions for him to do the same. In Dufayel's apartment, he and Lucien watch as Amelie closes the curtains. Then we see Amelie and Nino in bed, him sleeping and her looking content.

The next day:

Hipolito sees his words in Graffiti “Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's”
Dominique Bredetdou visits his family
Raphael finishes his picture
Her farther heads for the International airport to visit the world

On September 28, 1997. It is exactly 11 a.m. At the funfair, near the ghost train the marshmallow twister's twisting while in Villette Park, Felix Lerbier learns there are more links in his brain than atoms in the universe. At the Sacre Coeur the Cardinals are practicing their backhands. The temperature is 24 degrees Celsius. Humidity, 70%. Atmospheric pressure, 999 millibars.

Nino and Amelie take a scooter ride near the Musee D'Art Naif, at the foot and to the right of the Sacre Couer, near rue Charles Nodier